There has to be an easier way to get your kicks...

This is the kind of thing that you just can't invent:

"After describing some of the many psychological theories about the differences between perversions and non-perversions, Salton [the author of the study] in essence takes a cold shower and shakes his head. "[I will] attempt neither to disprove nor to contradict the theories cited in the preceding sections," he writes. "Instead, I hope to augment and combine them."

He attempts this by telling the story of a patient who reluctantly came under his care: "The patient, whom I will call 'Alan', is a 28-year-old male of Gypsy descent. He was referred by the criminal court following repeated convictions for stealing complimentary bathrobes from the rooms of upscale hotels."

Alan's lawyer repeatedly "was able to plea bargain probation and psychological counselling, rather than incarceration, when it was determined that Alan did not take the bathrobes to sell them, or to steal whatever contents a guest might have left inside. Instead, he brought them home in order to masturbate into them. He would then discard the bathrobe when it no longer held his sexual interest, thus requiring him to stalk and steal again."

Alan also had a goal to perform Karaoke in a bar in all 50 American states.

In short, Alan has some problems."
Marc Abrahams @'TheGuardian'