Saturday 30 July 2011

Electric Daisy Electronic Dance Raver Orgy Leaves 100s Sodomized, Drugged in Hollywood (DJ Kaskade Tweets at Mann’s Chinese Theater)


Eyes perpetually glossed with the most addictive marijuana residues and spirits all but defunct, the mouths of naive Electronic Daisy raver chicks chirp open in sexual glee as they wait to be plied with more Tweetie Flipper’s liquid ecstasy induced acid trips.
As if parents need any more proof that this new ‘electronic dance’ rave cult is a great danger to our children, we now have shocking and sick headlines pouring in this morning from California.
The Mother’s Alert Network first tweeted today about violence erupting in West Hollywood, California. Police officers initially reported a massive, drug-fueled flash mob orgy that was actively taking place in West Hollywood. Shocked officials immediately called in the National Guard to assist LAPD in trying to contain the throbbing crowd by passive means, but after 9 officers were injured and one sodomized, police had to use rubber bullets and tear gas to gain control.
And today, after the smoke has settled, we’ve learned this event was called the Electric Daisy Carnival, a festival of drugs, sin and wanton carnality that makes Woodstock look like a Saturday Night at Mass.
If your child is a raver or fan of electronic base music, their risk of having an STD is already 23% higher than national average. Raver girls are notorious for being abortion-toking prostitutes, especially behind their parents backs. This is because people in this ‘electronic dance’ community are usually degenerates and drug addicts. The music of this culture is designed to trick the naive, malleable minds of teenagers to believe their high-school puppy love has meaning and they should shoot up with drugs and have adrenaline fueled public orgies, such as the massive Electronic Hoedown (Electric Daisy 2011) that victimized so many people yesterday in West Hollywood.
Headlining this year;s random fest were two dangerously geriatric, ‘original’ bands known as the Yellow Cake Magic Orchestra and even more terrifying, Throbbing Gristle. Reading through the resumes of these two death metal, Satan-worshiping bands is like reading the yearbook for Alcatraz class of 1938.
Everything about this year’s show would haunt the heart and minds of those not under the spell of  this Satanic nightclub music. Yellow Cake Magic Orchestra is headlined by gruff looking men who look like extras from a 80s post-apocalypse biker movie. Their name comes from a 70s street drug called “Yellow Cake Magic”, a raunchy mix of crudely cut marijuana leaves, crack infused acid drops and Quaaludes, all baked into a yellow cake that will make the mind of any taster explode with a magical sexual desire.

Electric Daisy, Hollywood, CA – Bloodstreams coursing with Yellow Cake Magic, once promising college students are turned into the smuttiest degenerates and have no respect for authority. Shocked LAPD officers flee as Electric Daisy ravers wildly throw their head back in deep sexual glee, stamping holes into police cars and preparing to strip off their clothing and furiously rub their bodies together, until a sexual climax is reached.  And then they will only get more filthy from there.
Yellow Cake Magic starts every concert by forcing their ‘fans’ to have a bite of yellow-icing cake at the door, and dear readers, the cake is laced with the nastiest, most destructive drugs. As the Quaaludes take effect and make the eater’s body render itself loose and pliable at all orifices, the marijuana heightens sensuality and causes girls to become like cats in heat. The boys at the concert are stiff with sin at this point and the band plays loud, hypnotic electronic dance music that causes everyone to strip off their clothing and violate every sensible morality that a person should have.

Overlooking the Electric Daisy Carnival, Photographer Captures Moment Old Man Reverse Sodomized by Group of Pert College Raver Girls – Police report one geriatric old man had his Depends stripped off and he was force-fed Viagral supplements and “Yellow Cake Magic”, then disappeared under a throbbing riot of thigh exposing girls, who gyrated and cheered all over the old man as the crowd took pictures. The man’s wife cried and fled the scene in her Cadillac. The whereabouts of the man is still unknown, him last being seen swallowed up deep within the mob of rioting bodies.
The ultimate organizer for this dastardly festival of simple-minded college children and poorly timed, unskilled computer music is another geriatric man known as DJ Kaskade.  Notorious for producing the most mind-altering tones imaginable during the late 80s, Kaskade tweeted that the event would start at 6am in front of Mann’s Chinese theater.  Only hours later, the feeble-minded DJ who organized this event was scared and begging for it to end. DJ Kaskade tweeted:
‘EVERYONE CHILL NOW!!! The block party has officially been shut down! BUT THIS IS TOO CRAZY AND WE NEED TO BE SAFE!’
‘I AM REALLY CONCERNED FOR EVERYONES SAFETY AT THIS POINT! PLEASE RELAX’
‘EVERYONE NEEDS TO GO HOME NOW! I DON’T WANT THIS TO REFLECT BADLY ON EDM OR WHAT WE ARE ABOUT. BE RESPECTFUL AND CHILL OUT!!!’ – DJ Kaskade, realizing Electric Dance music is now dangerous
Too late, DJ Kaskade. This event proves exactly what EDM is all about: marijuana addiction, acid drops and gyrating to poorly orchestrated music. Over 183 people were sodomized by drug-laced flesh glowsticks, the anguished screams of the fraternity boy victims soon loosening into mindless purrs and confused moans as the massively injected drugs kicked in.
Unknown to many, every new male electronic dance music raver must perform a “Throbbing Gristle” to be accepted into the moshing pits that are prevalent at these events. A Throbbing Gristle is considered complete once a raver, usually unpopular, black clad loners during high school, take revenge on the massive throngs of fraternity boys who cannot resist events such as this.
When coming into a Electric Daisy Carnival, the entry gates have Yellow Cake Magic and also an armband tagging system. Guys in Greek-lettered fraternity shirts are given green tags and told ‘free alcohol’ so they won’t question. Guys who identify as raver virgins are given a yellow armband, barring them from all the drugs and main orgy sections until they slip a roofie into an isolated fraternity guy and get a picture of themselves sodomizing him ‘to the gristle’.  They take these pictures back to the main gate and then are accepted as a ‘raver bro’.  It’s all sick and terrifying, but for the unsuspecting girls who come into this bizarre underground culture, it’s twice as worse.
LA Clinics are already reporting a 39% increase in girls aged 16 – 21 requesting free pregnancy kits. There is no coincidence that at these events, nearly 39% of the girls are knowingly engaged in unprotected sex. The other 61% are too drugged or slutty to know or care the next day. After last year’s Electric Daisy, 2/5 girls who went for the first time reported STDs and pregnancy from unknown causes. Their lives, broken.
After only several hours, an estimated 50,000 ravers had descended upon the Mann’s Chinese Theater grounds in Hollywood.  Reports state students from as for as alcohol drenched UC Davis to the North and the always dangerously hipster raver Cal State Fullerton residents to the south brought massive ‘Mobile Party Unit” buses stocked with alcohol kegs and professional Tijuana Mexican strippers to ensure more debauchery.

Electronic music is dangerous because it is so easy to make. It is everywhere. Most of the “DJs” of the EDM scene are simple basement dwellers who have downloaded the recording program “Audacity” and another program called “Fruityloops”. The pioneers of the movement, a band called Death Dragon Opium Punch, was a bunch of simple overweight friends who got bored one night while playing Dungeons and Dragons, all during the mid-1980s.
Like their forefathers, the new DJs of EDM record their voices and make it buzzy using Audacity filters, then throw a random, poor sounding beat behind it with Fruity Loops. The music is poor by any industrial standard, but the beats are confusing, much like an acid trip ritual conducted by Satanic druid priests, so college students who experiment with drugs are naturally drawn to it. The music is called the ‘lullaby of the Satanic druggies’ for a reason and now, the culture is consuming our nation’s youth with pagan Islamic blood-letting rituals under the moon where Skittles parties give way to a night of confused memories and sore body openings.
The cult religions of Middle Eastern practice are prevalent at these events and the newest festival features The Five Pillars of Electronic Dance Music: kineticFIELD, circuitGROUNDS, cosmicMEADOW, bassPOD, neonGARDEN. It is by these pillar groups that EDM ravers segregate and stage moshing pits, fraternity boy savaging areas, anti-police barricades and finally the raunchy orgy pits where the bands perform. As of time of report, the National Guard was able to penetrate each level, or pillar, of the event.

Painted priests of the EDM movement usually escort ‘attractive’ college-aged children to the backstage areas of Electric Daisy, where sloven band members await to ply them with drugs, electronic defling devices and flesh phallus’.
The following released image comes from the computer file of one raver planner, showing how the most destructive bands are placed into each herded area, where they will loosen the morals of your children and force them into horrible acts.

After being able to regroup, LA’s finest and the US military combined to engage the crowd of 50,000. With bands dramatically playing drummed and based music in the background, the drug-addicted minds of the ravers were defiant. An epic battle commenced in the cosmicMEADOW region.

The rippling muscles of the ravers tour through the law enforcement’s initial lines and defense. The new strains of marijuana smoke twice as strong as black methcocaine-LSD, causing the user’s hearts to wildly beat to a unwordly Satanic cadence. With these hulking, drug enhanced roid-raging beasts beating them and sodomizing yet another officer, the police had no choice but to form a defensive line and begin to fire rubber bullets upon the typically unruly EDM crowd.
After a long, grueling battle, the carnage was unreal. A body count of those drugged and sodomized is still not available, but estimates put nearly 840 non-ravers who were in the wrong place, wrong time, still missing and we can only fear the worse. This rave spilled into commercial areas where decent families and normal people live. We cannot fully understand the drug addicted minds of people in this community.

After breeching the cosmicMEADOW grounds, police where then able to access the Hollywood Family Shopping Region that had been spontaneously consumed by the surging kineticFIELD crowds. As seen with homosexuals, ravers will victimize children as young as 18 or 19, making The Gap a target of their ‘virgin stealing’ ceremony. Police worked for hours to free hostages being forced to do raver drugs, groin licking and swaying to rhythmic Dubstep music.

RescuedAfter a grueling, 18-hour ordeal, families emerge from The Gap after brave officers infiltrated the store and took on large groups of EDM ravers who were ‘drugged beyond all comprehension’, as one tearful mother recounted in her memoir. Her son was crowd-surfed from the store and was last seen wearing his new Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity letters
Aftermath
The victim totals are still rolling in. The American Red Cross has not yet issued a disaster response, but national aide is imminent. Such destruction has not been seen in Los Angeles since the Watts riots, and those riots did not even feature sodomy or forced drug injections.
One onlooker wrote: “It is a macabre, fearful scene, as if the 1980s have reemerged and Michael Jackson is filming Thriller in my front lawn. Pale-faced teenaged children are creeping around, arms dripping blood from syringe holes as unholy, awful music fills the air all around. The air smells of dead tuna: the smell of a 3am Vegas prostitute’s bedsheets. Hell has unleashed on Earth and it goes by one name: Electronic Dance Music“.
As of time of report, police have fully contained the area and managed to kick most bands out or throw them in jail. Only a few stragglers, namely brothel moms trying to recruit new girls to be “Raver Girls”, remain.
Mike Watson @'Christwire'
ROFL - must try to get up! No, I can't...ROFL!
When I do manage to stop laughing I am going to stick on 'Heathen Earth' and DO THE THROBBING GRISTLE...
HA!
OK! Up from floor long enough to type one word:  

24 comments:

  1. "Drug enhanced nectar spouts"...

    And I always knew Throbbing Gristle was a bad, bad thing...

    *steals Mobile Party Unit bus and heads out in search of Yellow Cake Magic*

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  2. Please this is NO laughing matter...

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  3. I DON'T WANNA BE THROBBING GRISTLED!

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  4. Those poor police officers bravely facing those maniacal hedonistic hordes armed with nothing but arms.

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  5. My gristle throbs. Should I put yellow cake on it?

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  6. I was just released from the hospital after being victimized at this event. My yellow cake gristle magic throbbed so hard I herniated STDs EVERYWHERE. And then Kaskade played mind-warping music that caused my gristle to throb all over again...

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  7. if ANYONE THAT SEES THIS SITE BELIEVES ALL THIS YOU ARE A BUNCH OF GOD DAMN IDIOTS & WHOEVER WROTE THIS IS A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG EXPERIENCE IT YOURSELF! ITS MUSIC PEACE & LOVE!

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  8. 2Ano/
    That reaction is almost as funny as the joke in the first place...
    Regards/

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  9. What kinda Bull shit is this? Who ever wrote this is trolling hard.... Complete false information here.....


    For some truth
    Check this out
    http://www.marketwire.com/press-release/las-vegas-mayor-oscar-goodman-declares-june-20-26-electric-daisy-carnival-week-1528057.htm


    Idiots like this are just pathetic

    http://soundcloud.com/justin-oquinn

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  10. Lighten up man...it's a spoof site! Every story is made up...you really couldn't tell?
    Dear oh dear...scared to listen to yr music, not only as I might put on tassles and my neon thong and go out in search of some yellow cake magic (which would be really fugn stupid as A/ it's winter here and B/ IT DOESN'T FUGN EXIST!!!) but I also suspect you are a serious wee boy with a Mac!
    Regards/

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  11. PS:
    Justin - I also now understand why you changed yr name to 'Trance/House DJ and Producer' - I would've too!

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  12. Alicia Mothaafuckaa!!11 August 2011 at 21:17

    Dude you guys are all retarded old christ loving assholes. live a little and take a god damn chance... people like you dildos make me sick hahaha geeett a realll lifee you christ fearingg faggoootsss (:

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  13. You guys are homos lmfao go kiss gods ass some more cunt.

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  14. You guys are just embarrassing yourselves now...

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  15. You site sucks and so do your stories


    You have so much time on your hands that you make up a rant about electronic music and rave/concerts...

    Eat a dick

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  16. Bit bored & backward in Williamsburg, Virginia are you?
    Never mind I'm sure that one day you may get to enjoy the delights of doing the Throbbing Gristle!

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  17. I'll type s l o w l y so you understand.
    It's from another site. See link at bottom. The site is a piss take. You know humour or humor if you prefer. Your music is fugn awful.
    Bye/

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  18. Learn to spell you fuckind tard

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  19. Justin You are a complete fucking idiot. One more time. The article is a joke...

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  20. wow, these people with the comments are fuckin stupid. this is obviously a joke.

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  21. 2Ano/
    It was only one particularly stupid person actually. Made me laugh!
    Regards/

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  22. Hey Justin/
    How's your international superstar DJ career going? Or are you just still trolling hard back there in Shitesville?
    Love & kisses
    Your #1 fan
    (must be hard living there without a sense of humor!)

    ReplyDelete