Thursday, 3 June 2010

Sarah Palin Has Some Tough Words For Amphetamines

Yes, governor, we do get it now! When you were leading thousands of morons in shouting “drill, baby, drill” (or, sorry, “drill,baby,drill”) and “drill here, drill now”, what you were trying to get at was that we should in no way be doing exploratory offshore drilling, baby, exploratory offshore drilling, because that’s dangerous. How could we have been so blind?
If an oil well in ANWR had blown up, the oil would just kind of pool all over the tundra, where it’s really too cold for media people to come up and make a big fuss, and it would be much easier to just nuke it, like the Russians did. Funny how none of that came across in your slogan, which just seemed to imply that we should drill the crap out of everywhere to get oil! It’s almost as if reductionist chants don’t carry nuance, and allow you to claim they mean any convenient bullshit you want when they become inconvenient!
Oh, and, word to the wise: it’s totally OK to use whatever pill-based stimulants you need in order to get in the Twitterin’ mood, but it’s not necessary to actually name-check them at the beginning of your tweet. That just eats into your 140 characters. [The Greatest Twitter In The World]

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