Barbarian Flashmob Converts 'Marcus Bachmann' in Glitter Baptism at Clinic

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Producer: Sarah Webster Norton
Choreographer: John Agurkis
Edited by Dan Feidt & Gus Ganley
Earlier today in Lake Elmo, Minnesota, an army of gay barbarians marched on Michele and Marcus Bachmann's "clinic", condemning the couple's attempt to "pray away" their discredited gay conversion therapy.
The flashmob protest — inspired by Marcus's assertion that gays are "barbarians who need to be disciplined" — comes in the wake of the unlicensed therapist's peculiar reversal, now denying he or his "therapists" ever practiced the harmful therapy.
In an attempt to clear up the confusion, the group of "gay barbarians" approached the clinic earlier this morning in hopes to speak to Marcus. When the staff saw a horde of over 100 barbarians approaching, they locked the clinic doors.
Undaunted, the barbarians at the gates demanded to see Marcus. Significant medical evidence suggests the "therapy" is a farce.
The barbarians were locked out of the office, but remained undaunted and fabulous at the gates, along with newly converted "Marcus."
The barbarians then began chanting "you can't pray away the gay, baby I was born this way!". Finally, a visibly frustrated "Marcus" emerged in front of the clinic and confronted the horde yelling "you barbarians need discipline!" as he reprimanded the dancing barbarians with a black leather whip. They responded by showering him with glitter, and after the sparkling baptism "Marcus" gave in to his barbaric urges, joining the horde in their infectious flashmob dance.
The Marcus impersonator was a local actor.
"Let's be clear: Marcus Bachmann is the practitioner of an unhealthy, unscientific and dangerous practice," explained Nick Espinosa, one of the event organizers. "It seems all too convenient that the minute Michele Bachamann becomes a candidate for President Marcus starts making a desperate attempt to walk back his previous statements."
Marcus's inexplicable change of orientation on the use of "ex-gay" therapy comes a month after an interview in which he claimed to only use the therapy "at the patient's discretion." This statement also contradicts video evidence from an undercover investigation that shows employees of the clinic clearly encouraging the widely-discredited therapy.
"The American people have a right to know: does the Bachmann family profit from bogus "gay reparative therapy" or not," continued Espinosa. "The medical evidence against the practice aside, the Bachmann's subversive marginalization of the LGBT community is despicable."
Today's action was organized by the same young man who previously glittered Newt Gingrich, inspiring a national trend in political protest of anti-LGBT sentiments from political candidates and campaigns.
"It's clear that the Bachmanns are the real barbarians here, and their archaic views on LGBT equality will no longer be tolerated," Espinosa said.
BACKGROUND:
Michele Bachmann has a long history of controversial anti-gay politics, and has compared the gay lifestyle to "bondage and slavery."
Her anti-gay views have been a focal point of her career as a politician, but lately she has shied away from reporters' questions about her controversial comments and taxpayer-funded "reparative therapy" clinic. While Michele Bachmann has long railed against federal safety net programs like Medicaid, the Bachmann & Associates clinic has received over $137,000 in Medicaid funds and over $27,000 in other state and federal funds.
For years, the scientific and medical communities — including groups like the American Psychology Association — have dismissed "reparative therapy" (also known as "conversion therapy" or "ex-gay therapy") as dangerous and unethical.