Thursday, 7 January 2016

A message from Mr Agreeable

Look, I’m getting fed up of the sideline sneering at Corbyn. The bloke was reluctant to stand in the first place but thanks to Blair’s scorched earth policy which deliberately prohibited talent from all sides of the supposed broad church of the Labour Party, he is the only option we’ve got - the one candidate who was prepared to vote against the Welfare Bill, something your Andy Burnhams, Dan Jarvises, Yvette Coopers, were unwilling to do, out of some ingrained, spineless expediency which until earlier this year passed for “grown up” policy in the Labour Party - ie, it’s all right to believe in Labour ideas in principle, but reckless and immature to actually propose putting them into practice.
Even now, with the issues as urgent and stark as they are, there are still people who wish to judge Corbyn in the X Factor, soap operatic, Andrew Rawnsley/Neil terms of “performance” - like that matters one fucking shit right now. It’s not the 1990s. We’re not in some snug, well-to-do, wry, jogging along, chamber music-accompanied political situation, despite the ambience the BBC insist on sticking by even now. Things are polarised. Evil, privileged, cancerously aggressive cunts like Osborne rule the roost. The days of smirking about the follies of trying to apply socialism in the “real world” are over. The days of imagining that there is a middle ground of convivial reasonableness we can all meet on and smirk genially and grown-uply are over. We go with Corbyn because he’s the only one right now and really, he is very decent indeed but very soon we get past Corbyn and usher in the new, angry, shit-your-pants talent that will explode our baby boomer consensus, demand of us why the fuck we allowed the political goalposts to drift so far towards the right, offer no resistance in the ideological tug o’ war process whereby that happened because we were too smirking and grown-up to deign to do so.
Anti-Corbynites: What do you actually THINK about such issues as Trident? Renationalisation of the railways? Selling arms to right wing regimes, including Saudi Arabia? Trade Unions and their role in modern society? The welfare state? Are you happy with things as they are? Because you NEVER EVER SAY.
Be advised: Uncertain as the electorate are about Corbyn, they’re actually a bit ahead of you in terms of accepting him, as Oldham showed. Produce someone. Produce a candidate. Propose something. Do something more than chortle at the follies of the “left”. Or actually put your considerable talents and energies towards the cause that’s presently being fought. Don’t regard it as beneath your dignity to show some solidarity. Ahh, but Hamas. Friends, Hamas. Hamas, friends. Know what? If Corbyn was fervently pro-Israel, I’d still vote for him. If Corbyn said, “I am against the selling of arms to right wing regimes, except Israel, of course, that’s an exception, because Islamofascism, etc”, I’d STILL vote for him. I’d think it was a bit bloody weird but I’d vote for him. Because domestic politics is all that counts. We haven’t the faintest fucking hope of influencing events in The Middle East, frankly, so so what? British people dwelling on foreign policy is a form of deluded, neo-imperialist displacement, however well-meaning - there’s shit closer to home we should be dealing with.
Seriously. I know, George Galloway, George Galloway, isn’t the left dreadful, George Galloway, George Galloway, is that what you want, President for life George Galloway? Look, here are the active, actually influential people we’re ranged against. Cameron. Richard Branson. Kay Burley. Rupert Murdoch. Katie Hopkins. Paul Dacre. Louise Mensch. Trump. Boris Johnson. Richard Desmond. Nameless twats who remain all the more effective for being nameless, quietly, behind the scenes. Cunt after cunt after cunt after cunt after cunt after cunt after cunt after cunt.
Seriously. Things promise to get very serious. Get on the right side of history.

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