Friday, 31 July 2009


911 guy: this is the ambulance emergency line, do you have an emergency.

Man: I need an ambulance

911guy: who is this?

Man: Joe

911 guy: okay, where do you need this?

Joe: I'm in a motherf*cking phone booth

911 guy: okay, what's the address there?

Joe: ....hold on

911 guy: Okay, sir, did you call for 911?

Joe: uh, yeah... no.

911 guy: okay, Joe, I need a location. What street are you on?

Joe: I'm in a motherf*cking phonebooth at the Stop and Go. That's it, I'm at the motherf*cking Stop 'n Go. On Waymouth...Hosmith, Carville 'n something. At the motherf*cking Stop and Go.

911 guy: Housmith, Corville and what?

Joe: hold on. ... yo lemme see. Coffee, coffee,

911 guy: Cafe?

Joe: There you go, I'm in the motherf*cking phone booth. I tell you what ...I'm driving down the road, driving my car, minding my own god damn business, and a motherf*cking deer jumped out and hit my car.

911 guy: Okay sir, are you injured?

Joe: Now, lemme tell you: I get out and pick the motherf*cking deer up because I thought he was dead. I put the motherf*cking deer in my back seat and I'm driving down the motherf*cking road and minding my own business, the motherf*cker woke up and bit me on the back of my god damn neck....he bit me and kicked the shit out of my car.

I'm in a motherf*cking phone booth, a deer bit me in the neck, and then a bigmotherf*cking dog came up, bit me in the leg then I went and I hit him with a motherf*cking tire iron, I stabbed him with my knife so I got a hurt leg and the motherf*cking deer bit me in the neck and the dog won't let me out of the motherf*cking phone booth, 'cause he wants the deer.
Now who gets the deer, me or the dog?

911 guy: okay, sir, are you injured?

Joe: Yeah, a motherf*cking deer bit me in the neck! hold on. The motherf*cking dog is biting me. Hold on, God damnit, get out of here--hold on, the motherf*cking dog is biting my ass,
hold on...

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